Current Inspirations

We're right in the midst of a transition right now. We moved to Seattle last week, and we're living downtown in a two bedroom apartment with our four little ones until we find a more permanent place to live.

So far life here has been different but good. My boys are adjusting to life in the city much more smoothly than I expected. Jonathan is loving his five minute walk to work, and I'm still trying to get my bearings and figure out what to do with the kids all day.

In times like these it's good for me to be thinking, reading, and creating. If not, I go crazy worrying about the future or just being bored. So here's what's inspiring me right now:

Tiny Houses

 If you haven't seen this documentary you need to (it's on Netflix). It will make you question just how much house and how much stuff you really NEED. We watched it a few months ago, but I've been thinking about it daily since we moved.  We're living in a much smaller space than we're used to. But it's been nice: I've been able to keep a better eye on my crazy 18 month old, and I don't have as much square footage to clean.

Parenthood

I am ridiculously behind the times. We just started watching this show a few weeks ago. I tried to watch it a year or two ago and couldn't get into it, but this time around we watched 2 episodes and I was hooked. The Bravermans are just a family full of flawed people who chose to love each other through the joys and pains of life; needless to say, there's much I can relate to.

Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons

I just started using this book with my oldest son this week. It took me a week or two to read through the intro and instructions . What I love about this book is that the lessons are written out for you, and they are short and sweet. We're planning to send our son to kindergarten in the fall, but we want him to be able to read and sound out words phonetically before he gets there. We'll see how it goes!

No Drama Discipline

A few days before we moved to Seattle, we had one last play date with my friend down the street and her three children. We've talked a lot about parenting our kids, what it looks like to extend grace to them, and what loving discipline looks like.

She told me that she was reading No-Drama Discipline so I picked it up. I've really enjoyed it. Dr. Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine. He studies the brain and its role in development and interpersonal relationships.

So far the book has been about the real meaning of discipline-- to teach. How can we use the moments when our kids are misbehaving to activate their higher brain functioning so that they will have the tools they need to regulate themselves and make good choices even in our absence.

He encourages parents to move away from one size fits all punishments and instead stop to think about the specific child, the specific situation, and what they want to accomplish as far as teaching the child. He says that this helps parents move towards their children relationally instead of parenting on autopilot.

 I don't agree with every little thing he says but so far so good. If you know me, you know that I need all of the parenting wisdom I can get.

Downtown Seattle

Sure, right now everything in this city feels unfamiliar to me, but we are living smack dab in the middle of downtown. Instead of letting myself feel trapped in our apartment with my four little blessings, I've decided to try to explore as much as I can between naptimes.

I love that this city is so walkable. It sure beats loading and unloading four kids in the car. We've already found a great Thai restaurant, an awesome local coffee shop, and a French bakery all on our block. Earlier this week, we scored a membership to the Children's Museum which is a five minute walk from our apartment. With all the rainy weather we'll probably hang out there a few times a week. I can't wait to see what else this city has to offer.

What's inspiring you? I'd love to hear what you're reading, watching, and thinking about! If you'd recommend it, I want to hear about it.

15 Places To Love in and Around Charleston

I gotta admit I'm getting a bit nostalgic. We're leaving the South in about a week and heading out to make our new home in Seattle, WA. Our little family is VERY southern! I can't believe we're moving to a place where I won't be able to order sweet tea.

My personal history reads like a trip across the deep South. I was born in Louisiana and raised in Georgia. My husband was born and raised in Alabama, and he has family in Mississippi. We met in Birmingham, AL and lived in Montgomery, AL for the first three and a half years of our marriage. For the last two years we've lived here in Charleston, SC.

Charleston is a happening town! It has a beautiful and historic downtown area close to beaches and chock full of local restaurants and shops. What more could you ask for?

We don't have any family here, so when we move we may be gone for good. I'll always remember this place with fondness. Here are a few of the places we've enjoyed during our two years in the Lowcountry.

Downtown

1. The Aquarium- We bought a family membership when we first moved into town. Our children never tire of going to see the fish so you can imagine we've been there about 455 times. It's not huge, but it has an excellent display of the local sea life. They do an excellent job of showing you what kinds of terrain you can find in South Carolina and what water creatures inhabit that terrain.

2. The Children's Museum- My boys love this place! It's hands on so they can explore and create instead of just looking at things. They have an art room, a pirate ship, a water room, an indoor playground for children under 3 years old, a supermarket, a castle, a firetruck, an outdoor garden and fountain area, and a rotating exhibit.

I love that my kids are never bored here and always leave worn out. Be careful about going on Friday mornings during the school year; the place will be packed with elementary school students on field trips.

3.Oak Steakhouse- Delicious, expensive steaks: perfect for a nice adult's night out. If you have money to burn, try their dry aged steaks (we could just never justify spending $60 on a steak)

4. Santis - Our favorite Mexican restaurant on the outskirts of the downtown area.

5. The Cocktail Club- Need a cozy place to get drinks before dinner and dancing downtown? Look no further than the Cocktail Club. They have just about any drink you can think of (and some you can't) with an atmosphere perfect for chatting it up with old friends and maybe making a few new ones too.

6. The Tattooed Moose- A bar with a laid back blue collar atmosphere and great food. My husband likes the duck club, and I love their duck fat fries!

7. The Pineapple Fountain -  I took my boys to "swim" in the Pineapple fountain weekly this summer. They always had a blast. The park also has another fountain where kids can play if they get sick of this fountain: so much fun.

Our Stomping Grounds

8. Park Circle - Sometimes North Charleston gets bad wrap, but we have loved living here! It's the industrial sector of Charleston, so things are a bit more blue collar and down to earth in North Charleston. Though to be truthful, there's a ton new development and restoration going on.

The Park Circle area has a cute little Main Street area with shops and restaurants. And as the name would suggest, the area is full of parks and playgrounds. Housing prices are less expensive than in Mt. Pleasant, and you're much closer to the downtown area than you would be in Summerville or Hanahan.

14. Madra Rua- Hands down my husband's favorite bar in the city and one of the biggest reasons we decided to move to the Park Circle area. Its an Irish pub with an Old World feel.

5.EVO- another Park Circle favorite...great pizza and salads!

6. Basico - fresh, yummy, Mexican basics

7. Mixson Bath and Racquet Club - If we were going to be staying in town through the summer we would certainly join! We visited their pool at the invitation of our neighbors, who are members, and we absolutely loved it. I was a bit skeptical when I heard about their steep membership fees, but after visiting I think it would be worth it to join.
The pool is huge and beautiful. They have poolside cabanas you can rent. They provide you with towels (which is perfect for any mom who hates to do laundry), and you can order drinks and food poolside. You could easily bring the kids for a late afternoon swim, bathe them, dress them in their pajamas, order dinner for them, and have them ready to pop into bed by the time you get back home (which is exactly what we did).

Everything Else

14. Paige's Okra Grill- Good Lowcountry food at affordable prices... their Sunday brunch is unreal!

15. Sullivan's Island - Looking for a beautiful beach in the Charleston area? You've got to check out Sullivan's Island. It's my very favorite beach simply because of its natural beauty and non-commercial atmosphere.

Elizabeth Pearl: The Birth Story

It all started about two and a half weeks before our sweet girl made her entrance. I started having some hard contractions, so I called my parents to come and get our three boys: thinking that the baby would be born any day. We didn't have anyone in town we could call to look after them, so we packed them up and sent them off with their grandparents six hours away.

I've got to admit that those weeks without my sons were some of the hardest of my life. I enjoyed the rest for the first few days, but after that it was hard not to be anxious and panicky. I just felt a lot of pressure to have the baby so the boys could come home.

Unfortunately, I realized that hauling around my 17 month old and and waddling around the neighborhood with my three and four year old were what was helping along those heavy contractions. When the boys went away so did all my contractions.

My due date came and past with no sign of the baby. The Monday after I hit 41 weeks, my midwife decided it was time to give our little girl a healthy shove out of the womb.

 I took a labor inducing cocktail that contained castor oil, champagne, nectarine juice, and almond butter. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up. I assumed the cocktail would send her right out, but all it did was violently empty out my digestive system and give me terrible cramps.

After that little failure, my midwife decided to give me a day off and see if she'd come out on her own.  She didn't and I was back at the birth center early Wednesday morning chugging that same nasty cocktail.

After drinking the cocktail, they sent me home to rest for a few hours and I started having some light contractions.We headed back to the birth center around 4:30pm and since Wednesday was the last day I'd be allowed to have the baby at the birth center, (If you go past 42 weeks you have to birth your baby in the hospital)  they opted to go ahead and break my water.

I had an ultrasound at 41 weeks to make sure there was enough amniotic fluid to sustain the baby. I remember that the midwife had been amazed at just how much fluid there was. I didn't really think anything of it, but when she broke my water, it was like a raging river.  My bag was so full, she ended up puncturing it three or four more times with the same result.

My body did an incredible job of retaining water this time around. Anyways, after they broke my water my contractions died down (which was the opposite of what we expected to happen) but at this point I was 7 cm dilated.

Around 10pm, my midwife came in and told me to stand up. Up to this point I had been squatting on a birth ball and lying down. She thought the baby might not be aligned in my pelvis correctly so during my contractions she had Jonathan stand behind me and hold my belly up towards my spine. That did the trick. After a few contractions it was time to climb into the birthing tub.

My contractions peaked, and about 2 minutes later I was pushing. It was truly a surreal experience. During labor with my other three babies I was always absolutely exhausted and out of it by the time I had to push. This time I'd only had a few painful contractions so I was completely present during her birth.

I was pushing my baby out and thinking, "Oh gosh, this is insane. I can see my child being born." I felt EVERYTHING this time. I just felt incredible pressure as she made her exit, and then incredible relief!

About 10 minutes after my midwife had me stand up so we could get her in the right position, Elizabeth Pearl was born. It was so funny, Jonathan put on some music while we were waiting, and as she was making her debut into the world the chorus of the song " Girl On Fire" came on over the stereo. Everybody in the room got a big kick out of it!

She was 9 lbs and 10 ounces of preciousness (my biggest baby) and absolutely covered in vernix. There's nothing like the feeling you get when you've gone through labor and come out the other side with a precious human being. We are so thankful that God has blessed us with another strong, healthy baby!

The Waiting

My due date has come and gone, and it honestly feels like I'm going to be pregnant forever. At this point, I can barely remember what its like to walk without waddling or live day to day without discomfort. Even though I know my sweet girl's birth is inevitable, its hard to keep the faith.

This waiting is always the toughest part for me, but I know that waiting is a way of life for my people. This time of year, during the advent season, I can't help thinking about the generations who waited for a Savior, and now the generations of Christians who have and are now waiting for our Savior's return, the resurrection, and the new creation.

I get so sidetracked by life. Amidst all the noise and hysteria over communicable diseases, the battles over race and inequality, the new fashions, and the everyday chores, I begin to live on the surface of things so easily forgetting the narrative and the story that is actually driving history.

Christ has come.

God has seen the pain and misery of humanity. He has seen our wars, famines, diseases, exploitation and abuses. Instead of turning away, He sent His Son because of His love for us.

Jesus came as a helpless baby and lived a life of humility as a carpenter and traveling teacher. His miracles gave us a glimpse into the kingdom He established on this earth. The sick are healed, the poor and abandoned cared for, and the natural elements are tamed. He came and showed us what it means to be fully human.

Christ has died.

The misery of humanity is caused by the sin of humanity. Our slavery to selfishness, greed, disobedience, and lust cause us to destroy ourselves and each other. God's justice had to be satisfied. Someone had to pay the penalty for all of this destruction and humanity deserves His wrath.

But He loved us and sent His Son whose life is infinitely more precious and pure than all of humanity. He sent Jesus to lay His life down and be cut off from the presence of His Father so that our relationship with God could be restored.

Christ has risen.

Jesus not only died in our place: He defeated death and broke the power of sin over us. Humanity was never meant to die. We all know how harrowing and unnatural death is. Jesus relates with humanity through His death and proves His divinity through his resurrection.

He was fully human, and He was also fully divine. Unlike the rest of humanity, He did not inherit the sin and its ultimate consequence of death through the genes of Adam. He chose to lay down His life. If He had not, He would not have died to begin with. Death could not hold Jesus and because He has given us His perfect record it can no longer hold us.

Christ will come again.

Christ will come back to earth again to fully establish His kingdom which is now here in part. He will do what Adam was called to do but could not do: To fill the earth and subdue it for the glory of God and to make it a place of beauty and righteousness and peace.

Revelation 21:1-4
1Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place^a of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people,^b and God himself will be with them as their God.^c 4He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

 This is the promise, and like the birth of my baby it is inevitable but hard to believe. It is hard to keep the faith. Death is not forever. Pain, grief and suffering are not forever. One day there will be justice and the kind of world we all long and strive for.

Romans 8:19-25
For the creation waits with eager longing for othe revealing of the sons of God.20 For the creation pwas subjected to futility, not willingly, but qbecause of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that rthe creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that sthe whole creation thas been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have uthe firstfruits of the Spirit,vgroan inwardly as wwe wait eagerly for adoption as sons, xthe redemption of our bodies. 24 For yin this hope we were saved. Nowzhope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we await for it with patience.

Come Thou long expected Jesus

Born to set Thy people free

From our fears and sins release us

Let us find our rest in Thee

Israel's strength and consolation

Hope of all the earth Thou art

Dear desire of every nation

Joy of every longing heart

Joy to those who long to see thee

Day-spring from on high appear

Come thou promised Rod of Jesse

Of Thy birth we long to hear

O'er the hills the angels singing

News glad tidings of a birth

Go to him your praises bringing

Christ the Lord has come to earth

Come to earth to taste our sadness

He whose glories knew no end

By his life he brings us gladness

Our Redeemer Shepherd Friend

Leaving riches without number

Born within a cattle stall

This the everlasting wonder

Christ was born Lord of all

Born Thy people to deliver

Born a child and yet a King

Born to reign in us forever

Now Thy gracious kingdom bring

By Thine own eternal spirit

Rule in all our hearts alone

By Thine all sufficient merit

Raise us to Thy glorious throne

-Words by Charles Wesley-

This Pregnancy Thing

I have finally hit the sweatpants, yoga pants, and all things jersey knit portion of my pregnancy. Being a stay at home mom, I usually like to dress cute. It makes me feel good, and I'm always more productive when I don't feel like I'm wearing my pj's.

 Pregnancy is a different bird. I have had round ligament pain, back pain, or sciatica during all four of my pregnancies. By the time I'm feeling as big as a house, I have to seek comfort where I can find it--be it in yoga pants or key lime pie.

This pregnancy has been a difficult one for me mentally. After giving birth to our third son, we knew our family wasn't complete, but I had decided to take a year or two off from the baby-making because I was feeling a bit rundown.

Constantly being pregnant or nursing for three and a half years can really take it out of you, and my body was feeling it. But being the Fertile Myrtle that I am, we ended up pregnant again VERY much on accident.

I'm incredibly happy to have this sweet baby girl, but I must admit that the first couple of months I felt trapped. It's not that I didn't want the baby, I just didn't want to be pregnant. My reluctance to suffer through the initial pregnancy nausea and exhaustion only amplified my discomfort.

I was kicking against the goads: fighting the inevitable and losing every step of the way. I didn't have an epiphany or a turning point that changed everything. I've struggled off and on with every change and pain my body has endured. Pregnancy is just not easy.

I enjoyed my first pregnancy immensely--partly because everything was new and exciting. But each subsequent pregnancy has felt harder and harder in part because I've had more little ones to care for and less time to relax.

All that being said, pregnancy is a perfect prelude to holding that bundle of preciousness in your arms. Pain and joy seem to be inseparably intertwined in the mystery that is motherhood.

In my experience, there has been no growth or maturity in my children without discomfort on my part. This is true of both physical growth in pregnancy and their general growth outside of the womb. Sleep training, potty training, the "terrible" 2's or 3's, and training my babies to obey: each stage and milestone is difficult to achieve, but there is so much joy on the other side of the pain.

Once that baby has been conceived, (in most cases) there is no turning back. I remember standing in the bathroom with my husband the night we found out we were pregnant with our oldest son. He was ecstatic, and I was just standing there in shock thinking: "This baby is inside of me right now, and there is only one exit ramp."

The weight of being someone's mother is something that no one can ever fully prepare you for: the worry, the responsibility, all the mixed emotions, the mommy guilt, the mommy comparison trap, the attachment, the love, and the pride.

 I took my two oldest sons to the playground one day when I was pregnant with our third son. Owen, our oldest, ran up to a group of kids who were running around together and tried to strike up a conversation.

The other children tried to ignore him, but when he didn't get the picture they started running away from him. He had no idea what was going on, so he proceeded to chase them. Finally one of the older kids said, "Everyone can play except you." Then he pointed at my son.

I quickly grabbed him and told him that we were leaving the park. I packed my babies into the stroller and headed home. While I was sprinting away, I heard the bully's mom put the smack down on him (thank goodness). She even yelled an apology to us, but I was booking it because I didn't want anyone to see me sobbing.

After everything, it never really registered with my three year old that the kids at the park had rejected him. I couldn't help but think about all the rejection he will inevitably face in his lifetime without me there to shield him from it. I hate that my children are growing up in a world where they will experience hurt at the hands of others.  And where they will inevitably also turn their hands to hurt.

Things that I would simply ignore and gloss over if they happened in my own life take on fresh meaning and significance when they happen to one of my children. So when they delight in a new friend, blow bubbles, or wrestle with their daddy, I am as elated in their delight as I would be if it were my own experience. Its like my babies are attached to me with an invisible emotional umbilical cord that no one will ever be able to sever.

In the same way that  pregnancy softens my body, every stage of raising my children has softened my heart. Dealing with all of their needs, joys, issues, and hurts has opened my heart to more love than I can contain at times. Trying to understand my little people has given me a greater understanding of myself and other people along with a wider capacity for compassion. 


(* The above photo is from the second trimester of my very first pregnancy. The photo was snapped by the fabulous Mandii Erwin)